Dinah

19

I don't want your understanding if it has to be forced by somesort of twisted reason you form in your head.
I want you, for once, to take me seriously. Like I could decide for my own, for MY OWN GOOD.

I need you, to stop smothering me.
Because, i'm trying to breathe.
But i'm beginning to get tired of trying.


So let me surrender or let me go.
Because fuck! I feel like i'm entitled to neither.


I'm not doing so good mentally.
Literally.

So help me.

Worst week, since a long time.

I have no idea what's happening.
So much uncertainty.



So I turn to the little things and its underestimated worth.
Things a lot of us take for granted.


Temporary comfort.
It was better than nothing.

I feel so angry right now,
Water is coming out from my eyes.
Blood is flooding my face through my veins.
My chest feels so tight.

And I don't even know why.
or more like why exactly.

Let's get out.

What you said!

28/04/2012

4.... 5, 6, 7, 8....

We'll keep them years comin' babygirl ;)

Till an alien invasion do us part.

Love you with every atom in my body <3

Deepest fear.

I feel like I'm losing touch with myself. I don't know why and I don't know how but I'm becoming less of a person, almost soul-less. It terrifies me to the bone because all that I was has brought me to where I am now. Where will I go then if what I'm feeling actually becomes confirmed?

I'm no longer able to feel like I use to.

Not feel, but feel; react; relate.

I've been forced much too many times into situations where feeling too much would compromise me as a person, in whole.
Too many times I've been placed in spots where I have to choke on what my mind wants to say what my heart refuse to tell only because it's for the better.
Countless times I've disguised resentment in awkward ways I'm surprised people can't actually tell.


Sometimes I wonder, why do I even?

And then I realize...

I'm that person.



But then again....


One can only be so patient.
One can only be so giving.
One can only be so human.


Exercising self-control.

I can try. I'm trying, particularly hard.










I need to fall apart.

Heartwrenching, it's downright heartwrenching.

I don't wanna miss anyone anymore.
At least not right now.
I cannot afford to.
:(